big matt

tonight, a doorman told me a story (he is one of the characters, so his part may be exaggerated slightly...)

all the doormen at work are licensed, meaning they've trained how to be doormen rather than thugs. no-one with a criminal record is allowed a license.

a while ago, there was an incident with a man outside work; he had his arm around a woman's neck and was violently shaking her whilst pulling out clumps of her hair - as you do. it's not a nice situation, something that would repulse most people, despite whatever the woman had done to provoke him.

when the doormen notice, they begin chasing him away. when they catch him, they take out their anger at his behaviour through the medium of arm locks and the ocassional restraining foot. above them is a cctv camera, and to the observers it surely looks like the doormen are simply attempting to restrain the guy for when the police arrive. of course, they're also (apparently) inflicting quite a bit of pain.

doesn't this guy deserve the beating he's getting? five minutes after committing quite a serious assault, he'll be arrested and subject to british justice - a trustworthy system that gives everyone what they deserve, doesn't it?

if licensed doormen manage to vent society's anger at these scum (they carry out what a lot of people would like to do to them), whilst disguising it as "just doing my job" this actually satisfies the very small part of me that agrees with capital punishment; that some criminals simply deserve to have done to them what they have done to someone else.

which is why the fact that some convicted criminals must have been caught by doormen before being arrested gives me a great feeling of satisfaction - they probably got hurt in the process.

Labels: life

went to meet the queen yesterday at the fleet review. didn't see her :(

did see sally taylor though, which more than made up for it (who's sally taylor?).

best part of the day without doubt was the evening - smuggled into the southsea rowing club with vice president joe (it's who you know) had a first class, front row seat of the red arrows, the battle and the fireworks.

also, (following a couple of beers) posed with people dressed up as nelson's friends - awesome

superb day, superb thunderstorms, superb fireworks - and the official t-shirt to prove it

Labels: news

after many months, the inland revenue finally sent me a cheque today. however, and i swear they're doing it just to be awkward, their cheques are miles bigger than a normal cheque - so big that it protruded several centimetres from my wallet.

if you ask me, that's just pretentious...

Labels: life

lads, cathching yourself with the zipper is painful, but be warned, hair acts as a perfect substitute to the fluffy side of velcro, as i discovered today.

compromised, and with tears coming to my eyes, i figured that at least kester and joe don't have this to worry about. (read why).

Labels: life

put up some photo's of road trip in a photoblog. why didn't i think of this earlier?! more to follow...

Labels: life

sharing our last night all together, myself, joe and kester spent a thoroughly enjoyable night drinking, culminating in bar me - superb.

what happened last night doesn't happen very often. very rarely do i get soo drunk i throw up. down-the-drain, through-the-nose, in-the-bath, in-the-toilet, in-the-bin, in-the-garden sick.

+ dancing around the poles was a mistake, i'll never be able to work there again. ha, they may even bar me! ;)

+ pissing all over sam's toilet was a mistake, although breaking and fixing the cistern twice was encouraging.

+ stealing no less than three posters from bus stops was a mistake - god knows what happened to my poster. again, i feel redeemed by being the only one concerned with fitting the plastic window back in after the steal, perseverance required.

+ throwing up in the bath was a mistake, although at least i wasn't around when someone decided it would be fun to shave pubes - i was satsified to be abused by my own electric toothbrush.

this morning, armed with a bowl of coco shreddies, we reminisced about our evening, without doubt one of the best and funniest i've had at uni.

it doesn't happen very often, but you can't beat getting steamed with two of the best blokes on the planet. cheers guys.

Labels: life

the road trip is over, long live the road trip.

had a superb week taking in sights and sounds of cardiff, bath and (of course) portsmouth. hundreds of photos, road trip anthems, over enthusiastic air-conditioning, cracking cornish pasties, uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, buses (welsh and open-top), pickled eggs, disgusting sambuca, sweet and sour chicken balls, random grandparents and owls will make it a week not to be forgotten in a hurry.

well done everybody...

Labels: life

so i'm looking up how to replace my ink cartridges in my printer; am i being stupid or does this not make sense...??

'after an ink cartridge is replaced, if the ink is low it may become empty.'

and they wonder why we don't read instruction manuals...

Labels: life

when bob geldof announced live 8 last week, something really hit home..

'Still 20 years on, it strikes me as morally repulsive that people die of want in a world of surplus'
- Bob Geldof, Tuesday 31st May 2005.

i am 20 years old. the original band aid was before i was born, and throughout my entire life, poverty in africa has been a norm to me.

it actually makes me slightly ashamed that i've spent my whole life accepting poverty as a problem that will be solved some time in the future. this is the future of 20 years ago, and whilst i am richer, they are poorer.

i'm proud i do something, i do what i can, even if it does appear as 20 years of apathy...

Labels: news