big matt

so, i got up to go the toilet last night at about 5am, and (being the
multicultural household that we are), stumbled across someone in the
living room who didn't speak my language. he was ironing.

hmmm, bit strange. i did my business, wondering whether it was all a
dream, before exiting the toilet, exchanging 'hola's' with the ironer,
and heading back to bed.

this morning i awoke to find three neatly arranged piles of stuff in
the kitchen. a pile of tea, a pile of coffee and several bottles of
half finished booze. in front of every pile was a note, written in the
ironers handwriting. the one in front of the teabags said, 'for the
english;' the one in front of the coffee said 'for the french;' and
the one in front of the booze said, 'for everybody!'

i wonder what night time activites he'll get up to tonight, because i
bet you it won't be sleeping. and maybe i'll end up with some pasta.

Labels: españa

ok, so george best is dead.

the focus of the story here is the tributes in england. and about the
fact that on british news, they stood outside the hospital doing a
countdown to his death.

one of the greatest footballers that england produced? i don't know. i
wasn't alive then. all i remember him for was being a drunk. headlines
such as 'GEORGE BEST, PISSED AGAIN' are about as interesting as
'GEORGE BEST, DEAD THANKS TO ALCOHOL.'

whilst tragic, i don't really have any time to hear about a
self-inflicted, twenty year suicide.

Labels: españa

i live on a one way, single lane street.

as a result, whenever someone tries to park, or a bus stops, or a taxi
dumps its passengers, there's big trouble.

friday night, i stumbled upon an ambulance, stuck in such a traffic
jam, attempting to turn right off my street. sirens wailing, lights
flashing, one paramedic in the road trying to get the cars to squash
up so her luminous yellow friend could fit around this corner. to no
avail.

there seems a real stubborness to let emergency vehicles through in
this city. almost as if they don't have the right to dodge the traffic
jam and should suffer like everyone else.

the paramedic in the road stood arms crossed; the paramedic in the
ambulance lit up a fag. what more could they do?

if ever there was a need for paramedic on a bicycle, this is it.

Labels: españa

on monday night, i was walking home when an american man stopped me.

he told me he'd been in a car accident after two weeks of camping. he
had been seperated from his friends and needed some cash to get back
to his hotel. for some reason, i felt sorry for him and gave him the
10 euros he needed. there was something about his story and his
personality that was honest. i believed he was in genuine need. and
why would you beg for money in english, in a non-english speaking
country?

he said he would pay me back the next day, but surprisingly, didn't turn up.

turns out, he was lying to me. jane saw him last night telling the
same cock-and-bull story to some english people, who also handed over
some cash. i am angry.

however, i was on the phone last night to hannah (in the street) when
two tramps with four dogs set up camp next to me and started playing
the recorder. i watched as many people just brushed past them angrily,
putting on the same pissed off face i usually wear when a tramp stands
in my way, palms outstretched.

something in me melted. i thought to myself 'i'm going home to a flat
where the heating is never off, to eat and have a shower and when i'm
in bed, this lot will still be here.' i gave them 2 euros.

whereas, the american scummer would have been getting pissed somewhere
and sleeping on my 10 euro note. bastard.

Labels: españa

i have a flat!!

moved in yesterday, and had falafel for lunch. could the day have been
any better?!

having met my english housemates on friday, it was only the french
ones who were eluding me. we met in the hall as we were walking past
each other, i said to them (in spanish, as they don't speak english)
'i live here, and you?' - very surreal.

so i unpacked, and sat on my mini-balcony drinking a beer and watching
the man couples with ridiculously small dogs walking four floors
beneath me (yep, i live in the gay district). it felt good.

i met the brasilian housemate a bit later (he lives in a cupboard) in
the same place i met the french, but i didn't exchange conversation
with him - it was late, i felt vulnerable dressed in pyjamas and the
hall is very narrow; we were in very close quarters.

if there was a complete opposite to 94 margate (class of 2005), this is it.

Labels: españa

i have found a flat, i think.

quite a nice place with two english and two french erasmus peeps. my
room is quite large, decent kitchen, pokey lounge, two bathrooms and
tv.

trouble is, the landlord speaks very quickly, and i found it difficult
over the phone to interpret when was a good time to move in. i got the
day, sunday. but the time? anyone's guess.

so, if any of you are feeling flashy and fancy a weekend in madrid,
you're more than welcome to stay with me...on the floor...if i've
moved in by then...ahem

Labels: españa

so matt went to the british embassy yesterday. yeh baby!!

it was for a 'teaching english as a foreign language educational software seminar' - first class english drivvle. felt a little bit out of place, wasn't really a meeting for the benefit of teachers, let alone pretend ones.

but i'm about to head off to madrid, got a busy day ahead trying to find a flat. hopefully, it will be more successful than my stealing-something-from-the-embassy attempt - there was nothing :(

Labels: españa

so xmas is approcahing. thought i'd save myself some hassle and order
hannahs present over the t'internet (yes, you can shop with it!) and
have it delivered to england.

simple? no.

there's nothing to bring you back into english culture with a bump
than, 'press 1 to talk to one of our muppet-indian customer service
agents.' i spent forty minutes on the phone in total, 19.5 to the
courier, 19.5 to the company i bought the present from and 30 seconds
in each call actually talking TO someone about why my parcel was 11
days late.

anyway, i arranged for re-delivery. this was friday. monday, i get a
rather jovial email telling me 'your parcel could not be delivered!'
(the exclamation mark blatantly taking the piss) - they're emails are
obviously delivered by the same people who deliver their parcels.

at this moment, knowing me as you do, i think many of you will be able
to invisage exactly how my face looked when i was told what i had
found out 11 days previously.

not only that, the number they gave me to call them on was missing an 8.

home, sweet home.

Labels: españa

a tramp spat at me the other day. grim.

Labels: españa

i have managed to upload quite a few photos of what i've been up to in madrid. the address, if you fancy a visit, is http://www.worldisround.com/home/matrob/index.html.

alternatively, you can click here or on the link on the right.

Labels: españa

so the clocks went back last weekend didn't they. being the day that
hannah left, it was rather important that we find out and not arrive
three hours before her flight instead of two.

we wondered whether it was just in england the clocks changed, even
though logic told us that it wasn't, as then continental europe would
have the same time.

and of course being sunday, nothing in spain happens. so none of the
clocks in central madrid had changed. thankfully, worldtimeserver.com
put us out of our misery.

but why do the clocks go forward and back an hour? why don't we just
settle on half an hour in between and NEVER change our clocks, thus
avoiding an inconvenience, sorry, pain in the arse...

please, someone, enlighten me as to why we still change our clocks?!?

Labels: españa

monday, i opened a spanish bank account...with Barclays.

but don't get me wrong, being an English company means nothing, i had
to do it all in spanish. that is, once i'd got in.

there were no less than three doors, electronically controlled, with
locks, lights, doorbells, loudspeaker instructions - i'm pretty sure
it's easier to get into guantanemo bay

Labels: españa

i've been meaning to blog about this for ages.

everyday on my bus travels, i pass a yard FULL of brand spanking new,
red and yellow cherry pickers. i would estimate there are 100-150 of
the beauties. oooh yes.

also, kebab shops. here, they're like proper restaurants where parents
take their kids for a sit down meal. the 'kebap' restaurants actually
make me hungry for donor.

megashite? no thanks, i'm gonna grab me a kebap.

Labels: españa

she's been and gone.

we took in the sights of madrid over the weekend, ate in a good
mexican restuarant and a better spanish one. we went to a jazz cllub
(mmm...nice), had chocolate and churros, drank lots of sangria and
sampled the odd cocktail or two.

we missed the last bus, retraced my commute, saw the school where i
work and did some shopping.

we watched german mtv, sumo wrestling and the 'revelations' about
bloody 'pipkin cookie pants' (but don't get me started on crap US news
channels).

a pretty perfect few days. even it pissing it down once she'd gone and
being forced to listen to Love Ballad FM on the bus home...miss you
baby x

Labels: españa